Four Tips for Supporting LGBTQ+ Youth 

Allies to LGBTQ+ youth can provide meaningful support for children who may not feel accepted in their communities. Offering a safe and supportive environment for your child is an essential part of parenting, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Allyship requires personal development, healthy communication, modeling acceptance, and supporting a child's identity.  

Personal Development 

One of the most important things you can do is to educate yourself. This means learning about the issues facing the LGBTQ+ community, the terminology they use, and the challenges they may face. Here are some essential tips and resources to get started: 

  1. Understand the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. Sexual orientation refers to who a person is attracted to (such as being gay, lesbian, or bisexual). Gender identity refers to a person's sense of themselves as male, female, both, or neither (and can be different from the sex they were assigned at birth). Understanding these concepts is critical to supporting your child's identity and helping them feel accepted. 

  2. Learn about the impact of discrimination and stigma. LGBTQ+ individuals are more likely to experience bullying, harassment, and discrimination. This can lead to adverse mental health outcomes like depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Educating yourself about these issues can help you understand your child's experiences and provide them with the support they need. 

  3. Familiarize yourself with resources and organizations.  

    • The Trevor Project: The Trevor Project is a national organization that provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ young people under 25. They offer a variety of resources for parents, including a helpline, online chat, and text messaging. 

    • PFLAG: PFLAG is a national organization that provides support, education, and advocacy for LGBTQ+ people, their families, and allies. They offer a variety of resources for parents, including a helpline, online chat, and local chapter meetings. 

    • GLSEN: GLSEN is a national organization that ensures that LGBTQ+ students can learn and thrive in school. They offer a variety of resources for parents, including a helpline, online chat, and resources on how to advocate for LGBTQ+ students in schools. 

    • HRC: The Human Rights Campaign is a national organization that works to protect the rights of LGBTQ+ people. They offer a variety of resources for parents, including a helpline, online chat, and resources on how to talk to your child about their sexual orientation or gender identity. 

    • SPLC: The Southern Poverty Law Center is a civil rights organization fighting hate and bigotry. They offer a variety of resources for parents, including a helpline, online chat, and resources on how to talk to your child about bullying and discrimination. 

    • It Gets Better Project: The It Gets Better Project is a non-profit organization that uplifts, empowers, and connects LGBTQ+ youth. In addition, they offer a variety of resources for parents, including a helpline, online chat, and resources on how to support your LGBTQ+ child. 

Communicate openly and respectfully with your children 

Children are curious and ask a lot of questions. How you answer those questions can significantly impact their feelings about themselves and others. Therefore, it is important to encourage open and honest communication with your children and to be willing to listen to their thoughts and feelings without judgment. When you approach conversations with sensitivity and respect, you create a safe space for your children to learn and grow. 

Here are some additional tips for answering children's questions: 

  • Be honest. If you don't know the answer to a question, say so. But don't make up an answer. 

  • Be age-appropriate. Tailor your answers to your child's age and understanding. 

  • Be patient. Your child may need time to process information and ask follow-up questions. 

Model acceptance and inclusion 

Modeling acceptance and inclusion for your child means showing respect and understanding for all people. It involves being open-minded and inclusive in your daily interactions and helping your child to feel more comfortable and supported. 

Here are some ways to model acceptance and inclusion for your child: 

  • Be aware of your privilege: If you are a cisgender and/or heterosexual person, you have privileges that many LGBTQ+ people don't. Acknowledge your privilege and use it to create a more inclusive and accepting world for everyone. 

  • Avoid stereotypes: Refrain from using stereotypes that reinforce negative ideas about the LGBTQ+ community. For example, don't assume someone's gender identity or sexual orientation based on appearance or mannerisms. 

  • Use appropriate language: Use gender-neutral pronouns and avoid derogatory terms that are often used against LGBTQ+ individuals. Correct others when they use derogatory language or make offensive comments. 

  • Normalize LGBTQ+ relationships and experiences: Expose your child to diverse stories and representations of LGBTQ+ people in books, movies, and media. It can help your child see that LGBTQ+ individuals are just as deserving of love and respect as everyone else. 

By modeling acceptance and inclusion, you contribute to a more inclusive and accepting world for everyone. 

Support your child's identity   

Parents can support a child's identity by affirming their experiences and advocating for them when necessary. This may include helping the child access supportive resources, such as LGBTQ+ affirming therapists, or backing them in school or other settings where they face discrimination or stigma.  

Of course, you can also extend your support to your child's friends and neighbors. Being an ally to LGBTQ+ youth is a powerful way to show support for children who may not feel accepted in their communities. Here are three great ways to be an ally. 

  • Volunteer at your child's school. Attend PTA meetings. Get to know your child's teachers and classmates. If any child is being bullied or harassed, talk to the school administration on their behalf.  

  • Introduce yourself and your child to your neighbors. Be a friendly face in the neighborhood and ensure all children feel comfortable playing outside and exploring the community.  

  • Volunteer in your community. There are many organizations that support LGBTQ+ youth. Find an organization that you are passionate about and get involved. This is a great way to show your child that you care about making the world a better place. 

Being an ally can help children understand and appreciate people who are different from themselves. Parents have an essential role in this process. By educating themselves, creating a safe and welcoming environment, supporting the child's identity, and seeking support when needed, parents can help create a safe and supportive community where all children can grow and thrive. 

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