Pregnancy

Will I be pressured to place my baby for adoption?

Our role is to help you explore your options regarding your unplanned pregnancy. There is never any pressure or obligation to choose adoption. Our licensed, experienced counselors will help you explore your options, and if you choose to parent we have a program to support you in that role as well.

What services does your agency provide to birthparents?

Hope Cottage offers birthfamilies a supportive environment in which to receive counseling services as you examine options. All of the services birthfamilies receive are free. A birthmother support group meets monthly. And we have a Parenting Prep Program for women who choose to parent their child.

Can I choose the family for my child?

Yes. At Hope Cottage, we encourage birthparents to choose their child's adoptive family. You'll have the opportunity to see pictures and letters about families that are available for your child, and you can choose to meet several families before making your final decision.

Do you have housing for pregnant women?

We don't have housing on the premises, but may be able to provide minimal financial assistance with rent, utilities, food, clothing and transportation based on pregnancy-related needs.

If I place the child for adoption, will I be allowed to see my child?

We encourage birthparents to see their baby after delivery, as this helps in the grieving process. Any additional contact after delivery will be determined by the level of openness you choose in your adoption plan.

What are the different communication levels of the adoption plans?

Every adoption is unique. Birthparents are encouraged to realistically consider what kind of information about and contact with their child they may want in the future. Our staff works hard to help them find a family that is a good fit.

Levels of openness range from closed to fully open. In a closed adoption, the birthparents have no identifying information on the adoptive family and choose not to have any contact. The other end of the continuum is a fully disclosed adoption, in which the birthparents and adoptive parents share all identifying information and arrange for visits and communication throughout the child's life. Most fall somewhere in between. Some birthparents choose a semi-open adoption in which Hope Cottage serves as intermediary to arrange visits and handle communication, and only first names are exchanged.

Does Hope Cottage have families for a child of any race?

Yes, Hope Cottage has adoptive families available for children of any race.

Does the birthfather have to be involved?

Yes, to place a child for adoption, the birthfather's parental rights must be addressed. In Texas, birthfathers are entitled to notice of proceedings to terminate parental rights or adoption proceedings. There is also a paternity registry available for birthfathers to acknowledge paternity. Hope Cottage can handle all of the communication and legal work with the birthfather, even when he is unknown.

What if my child is already born?

On occasion, women contact us from the hospital after their baby is born, and we provide foster care for her baby while she considers her options and receives counseling. Hope Cottage can place any child up to age 4 in our domestic adoption program.

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Domestic adoption

What support does your agency offer a family after placement?

In addition to the required six-month post-placement supervision, Hope Cottage provides a strong support system for as long as needed. Our family picnic, holiday open house, Circle of Hope support group for families of transracial adoption and other events help adoptive families meet others who have also completed the adoption journey. Our Hope for Families Counseling Center provides counseling and support for all triad members throughout their life.

Why choose Hope Cottage as my adoption agency?

Hope Cottage has a long history of adoption and provides a high level of quality services and care for their clients. Since 1918, we have helped more than 26,000 pregnant women and their children and built more than 7,000 families through adoption. Each member of our clinical staff has a master's degree in social work and/or counseling and is experienced in adoption issues.

Who can adopt?

Hope Cottage is committed to finding loving homes for all of the children in our care. Adoptive applicants need to live within a geographical area permitting them the opportunity to participate fully in whichever adoption program they choose. Singles and couples are encouraged to apply. Evaluation criteria include clear background checks through state licensing for criminal history and child abuse or proof of rehabilitation when indicated.

How old are the children available for adoption in your Domestic Program?

Hope Cottage can place children up to age 4 in our domestic adoption program. Most of the babies are placed directly from the hospital following birth or shortly thereafter.

How much does it cost?

Our domestic fees are based on a sliding scale calculated using the average of the last three years' total income reported on tax returns. The amounts range from $13,000 for incomes under $50,000, up to $33,000 for incomes over $150,000. This fee is in addition to a home study fee, education seminar and medical costs for the mother and baby if she is uninsured and does not qualify for Medicaid.

Our Families Now! program fees are 12% of total income averaged over the past three years. This fee is in addition to a home study fee and education seminar. There are no fees for families choosing to adopt in our Foster-to-Adopt program. Adoption tax credits, employee benefits and low-cost loans may also be available to help offset the cost. Click here to see a list of financial sources that may able to provide assistance to you.

How long does it take before a child is placed in your home?

The average wait time in our domestic program ranges from 1½ to 2 years after your home study is completed. The wait time may be shorter for those families open to more diversity.

How are birthmothers referred to your agency?

Birthmothers are referred from a variety of sources, including hospitals, physicians, schools and counselors. Because of our history in the Dallas area, many of our referrals come from our long-standing reputation and from former clients. Yellow pages ads are one of our top referral sources.

What services does your agency provide to birthparents?

Hope Cottage offers birthfamilies a supportive environment in which to receive counseling services as they examine their options. All of the services birthfamilies receive are free. There is never any pressure or obligation to choose adoption. A birthmother support group meets monthly. We have a Parenting Prep Program for women who choose to parent their child.

What is open adoption?

Open adoption refers to the sharing of information, ongoing communication and contact shared between birthfamilies and adoptive families. At Hope Cottage, the level of openness is decided between the birthparents and the adoptive couple. Adoptions vary from closed to semi-open to fully disclosed/open.

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International adoption

We just want to parent a child! Why would international adoption be a good avenue to parenthood for us?

International adoption is a good choice for a family with some flexibility. There are children of all ages all over the world who need families. Our adoption specialists can assist you in determining which country would be best for you based on your interests and background.

Are there age requirements for adopting internationally?

Yes. First, the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) requires that persons be at least age 25 when making application for approval to adopt internationally. Additionally, many countries have parental age requirements in relationship to the age of a child to be adopted. Hope Cottage also has a policy regarding age that applies when no country policy is in place.

How long do we have to be married before we adopt internationally?

Different countries have different requirements for length of marriage, as they do for age. Hope Cottage requires couples to be married two years before beginning the home study process, although that can be waived on a case-by-case basis depending on length of relationship prior to marriage. We believe it is important that couples be in a relationship long enough for it to be evaluated for stability during the home study process.

We want a child as young as possible. What is the youngest age child we can expect to adopt internationally?

That depends on a lot of things such as your ages, the country from which you want to adopt and the time you are prepared to wait, among others. Even the youngest children will be 6 to 12 months old when they arrive home with you. Many countries now consider children eligible for international adoption only after they have been on a domestic registry for a specified period. Only when no domestic family applies to adopt them is an international family considered.

Will we have to travel to the country and, if so, for how long and will we have to visit more than once?

At least one visit to the country is required. The length of the visit varies per country and some countries will require more than one visit.

What countries will you work with?

We will do a home study for almost any country as long as you have a placement agency or representative that can do adoptions in that country. We do all of the work (home study and child matching) for India, Guatemala and El Salvador.

How long does it take to adopt a child internationally?

Although many families begin counting the months when they first decide to adopt internationally, Hope Cottage will give you time estimates beginning with the submission of your application for a home study. We also break down the lengths of time into other measurable time frames, such as dossier preparation, "waiting for assignment" and "waiting after assignment." Because so many variables are involved in any one adoption, we prefer to say that an international adoption, from home study to return home with your child, may take 12 to 24 months.

I only need a home study. Will Hope Cottage provide that?

Yes, if you live in the state of Texas and have already identified an agency for placement of your child, we will provide your home study and your pre-adoption training. We will also provide post-placement or post-adoption supervision as required by the country from which you plan to adopt.

What do I need to do to begin my home study?

Contact our Intake Specialist to set up an appointment for a group or individual orientation with one of our International Staff. If you are outside the Dallas area, a telephone orientation will be scheduled after you have received our printed materials.

I am single. Is international adoption possible for me?

Yes. It may require some country research on your part, but some countries do accept single female and male applicants. You may have a long wait, and you may be required to be more flexible with the age of the child, but international adoption is possible for singles.

I have seen information about the "Hague Convention." Can you give me more information?

The best place to find the most updated information on the Hague Convention is the U.S. Department of State website. The United States will ratify the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption as soon as U.S. agencies are accredited. The goal for that to happen is the latter part of 2007. Look for updates on the Department of State website.

Are you planning to become Hague-accredited?

Yes. Hope Cottage is a placing agency for children from Guatemala, El Salvador and India, all signatories of the Hague Convention. Accreditation is required for us to continue working with families adopting from these countries.

How will Hague accreditation affect my adoption?

According to the rules of the United States, it will have no effect on your adoption if you have been approved by the United States Citizenship and Immigration Service prior to the Hague Convention coming into effect in the U.S. or if you are adopting from a country that is not party to the Hague Convention. At this point, we do not know in what other ways an international adoption might be affected, but we receive regular updates to keep us informed. We will, in turn, keep families informed.

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Embryo adoption

Are there any states that place restrictions on the shipping of embryos?

Yes. New York does not allow embryos to be transported into the state because of strict human tissue laws. If you live in New York, Nightlight can work with you to adopt embryos; however, please contact their office for more information as to how this affects your adoption.

How is "embryo adoption" through Nightlight different from "embryo donation" that clinics offer?

"Embryo donation" is a program fertility clinics offer. It differs from adoption in that the receiving family does not have a home study prepared, the donating families are anonymous and there is no contact between the families before or after birth, even through an intermediary. Snowflakes™ goes beyond the embryo donation provided by fertility clinics to offer the safeguards and education available in a traditional adoption. A home study is prepared on the adopting family that includes screening and education. The donating family is responsible for selecting a family to raise their genetic child(ren) (as opposed to the clinic doctor making the choice), and they will know if a child(ren) is born from the adopted embryos. The Snowflakes program recognizes the importance of counseling all involved persons. Most importantly, the personhood of embryos is recognized and pre-born children are treated accordingly.

Who would want to participate in this program?

Snowflakes™ can help create families for couples whose infertility does not allow them to create their own genetic families, specifically couples considering egg or sperm donation. It also appeals to families who can't afford the $12,000+ required for egg retrieval and fertilization, or the fees for egg donation.

Why would donating parents choose embryo adoption instead of donation?

Snowflakes Embryo Adoption gives the donating family the opportunity to select who adopts their embryos and to know the outcome of the adoption and if a child is born. They are reassured that Snowflakes provides the same safeguards that the traditional adoption process offers. The donating family knows that the family they choose to parent their pre-born child has been screened for a criminal history and child abuse record, as well as received education about how to parent an adoptee. The embryo donor parents have the peace of mind of knowing a handpicked family is raising their genetic child. They also have the opportunity to contact the adopting family to whatever extent both families are comfortable.

Why would we choose embryo adoption instead of donation?

The chance to have a relationship with your child's genetic family is one reason. Whether you exchange picture and letters, have telephone conversations or choose to meet in person, you will have access to information about your child's history. Nightlight can facilitate communication between the families and educate and work with you about how to talk to your child(ren) regarding their unique conception and adoption-related issues.

Why would we choose embryo adoption instead of traditional adoption of a newborn?

The most obvious difference between an embryo adoption and a traditional adoption is the pregnancy experience. Adoptive moms are able to experience the joys (and burdens!) of pregnancy and labor. You also have peace of mind knowing your child was not exposed to alcohol or drugs during pregnancy.

Although an embryo adoption allows more control in some ways, it provides less in other ways. You cannot choose the gender of the child as you might in an international, domestic or older child adoption, and you can't change your mind if the baby is born with a medical or developmental illness or condition. Because up to three embryos are implanted at once, there is also the possibility of twins or triplets. Embryo adoption can also be more difficult emotionally than traditional adoption, since there is no guarantee implantation will result in a child.

How many embryo adoptions has Nightlight completed?

To date (2006), Nightlight has matched 289 placing families (with approximately 2,092 embryos) with 192 adopting families. From these matches, 143 babies have been born.

Are there any other agencies that offer Embryo Adoption?

Nightlight Christian Adoptions and Nightlight Christian Adoptions of Virginia are the only adoption agencies in the country (that we are aware of) that offer Embryo Adoption with the same procedures and safeguards of a traditional domestic adoption.

Does Nightlight encourage the creation and freezing of embryos?

No, Nightlight is trying to provide a loving option to the families of the 400,000 embryos frozen in clinics throughout the United States. As people (and clinics) become more aware of (a) the reality that in-vitro fertilizations often result in extra embryos and (b) there are options with regard to their disposition, we have noticed an increased effort to limit the number of embryos created and to have plans in place for their disposition. We would really prefer to work ourselves out of a job!

What are the basic requirements for an adopting family?

You must have a completed home study. This is the same home study used to evaluate and educate adopting parents in traditional domestic adoptions. The adopting mother must also be able to carry a child to term. Your doctor will be asked to provide a letter stating that there are no contraindications to pregnancy.

Is there an age limit for the adopting mother?

The donating family's preferences will determine the allowable age of adopting parents. Although the recommended upper age limit is 45, if you are over the age of 45 you must have a letter of recommendation from the fertility doctor who will be performing your Frozen Embryo Transfer. In addition, we encourage you to speak with someone in the Snowflakes department before submitting your application. You will be matched with a placing family that is open to your age group; however, you will likely have a longer waiting time to be matched.

Can couples who do not have an infertility diagnosis adopt embryos?

Yes; however, your fertility status and the number of existing children in your family may be a factor for the donating family during the selection process.

Can adoptive couples use a surrogate mother to carry their adopted embryos?

No. At this time, surrogate mothers are not allowed to carry Snowflakes for adopting parents. Nightlight is an adoption agency and therefore follows adoption law with regard to the embryo adoption process.

Does Snowflakes handle out-of-state embryo adoptions?

Yes. Nightlight can work with adopting families living in any state. You just need to work with a local adoption agency (like Hope Cottage) to complete your home study.

Can you work with families living in another country?

This is handled on a case-by-case basis. Please call the Nightlight office (714-278-1020) and ask to speak with someone in the Snowflakes Program, or email them at info@nightlight.org, to discuss your specific situation.

Can single women adopt through Snowflakes?

Yes; however, it is our experience that donating families prefer placement with a married couple. As a single woman, you will likely have to wait longer for embryos and perhaps will not be matched within the time period in which you hope to become pregnant. Please contact Nightlight if you are interested in adopting as a single mother to discuss your specific situation. Single men are ineligible to adopt through Snowflakes at this time since a surrogate is required to carry the baby.

Is there legal precedence for the adoption of frozen embryos?

No. Currently there are no states with laws governing embryo adoption. Nightlight uses the same steps and forms similar to those used in traditional adoption. The hope is that instead of creating a new set of laws, the current laws for adoption will be expanded to include embryos.

What are the legal issues with embryo adoption?

The adoption agreement and relinquishment forms are legal contracts between your two families. As there are no laws regarding adoption of embryos, we have created the contract to match the current position of the courts that embryos are property. The contract covers the transfer of property and also includes additional adoption language. These legal forms are signed and executed prior to the transportation of the embryos to your clinic and before they are implanted in the adoptive mother.

How long is the relinquishment (that the placing family signs) valid?

Typically, the relinquishment gives you one year to thaw and transfer your embryos. If you have embryos remaining after this period, we will request that your placing parents sign another relinquishment for a mutually agreed-upon period.

Isn't this just surrogacy?

No! In surrogacy, an agreement is made for a woman to carry a pregnancy for the benefit of the intended parents. In our program, the embryo's parents relinquish all rights to the child prior to implantation. The child that the adoptive mother carries is the child that the adoptive couple will parent.

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