I like to believe that families placing embryos for adoption do have some assurance in their decision; however, in a conversation with a clinician the other day I was abruptly told “there is no assurance in adoption.” As I was driving home I began to wonder if what she said was indeed true. In a literal sense, we can never be completely assured about anything in life. I proceeded to look up the definition of assurance in several dictionaries and found that assurance is defined as “a promise or a pledge.”
For families making the decision to place their embryos for adoption their assurance may come from knowing that the adoptive family has completed the home study process-the home study process is like a pledge from an agency or social worker. A pledge that during the home study process they will gather background information, provide education, verify references, and obtain criminal and CPS history checks, among many other things in an effort to determine that, to the best of their knowledge, nothing was identified during the home study process that would indicate anything other than a safe and loving home environment for children.
Assurance may also come from entering into an open adoption agreement-an open adoption is a promise between the families placing embryos and the adopting parents that they will maintain contact with each other and are available to one another through the years. Most often though, I think assurance comes to families in adoption because they have found a sense of peace in their hearts with their decision.
Piglet and Pooh describe this simplicity of assurance in the following excerpt:
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered.
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”
~A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
Today’s blogpost was written by Hope Cottage Staff Member Julie Hames,
who oversees the Hope Cottage Embryo Adoption Program.
Hope Cottage is the oldest nonprofit, non sectarian adoption agency in Dallas. Since 1918 Hope Cottage has been building and nurturing strong families through counseling, education and adoption services.
If you are a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy and would like to talk to someone about adoption, please call Hope Cottage at 1.800.944.4464 or 214.404.4546.